75+ Step Brothers Quotes, Movie Quotes

Step Brothers is a 2008 American comedy film directed by Adam McKay, produced by Judd Apatow, and written by Will Ferrell and McKay from a story written by Ferrell.

It might have been some time ago that you saw the movie, but if you’re anything like me, Step Brothers Quotes from the film are still popping into your head on occasions.

And I’m sure you’re not alone! There are many great lines of dialogue featured in this film, which is why today we wanted to share with you some of our favorite quotes from Step Brothers.

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Step Brothers Quotes

I want to share with you some best Step Brothers Quotes. It is a great movie and I hope you will like it.

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Will Ferrell, and John C. Reilly deliver lines that are so hilarious you’ll quote them again and again.

  • “This is going to sound weird but, for a second, I think you took on the shape of a unicorn.”
  • “It’s the f***ing Catalina wine mixer.”
  • Maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.” – Brennan
  • “Your singing is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.” — Dale Doback
Step Brothers Quotes
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  • “One time I wrestled a giraffe to the ground with my bare hands.”
  • “Brennan, that is the voice of an angel. I can’t even make eye contact with you right now. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.

“Dad, what are you doing? It’s ‘Shark Week’!” — Dale Doback

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  • “I’m fucking miserable. I had to get up at 10 o’clock this morning.”
  • “I wanna make bank bro. I wanna drive a range rover. I wanna get a**.”
  • “We sail around the world and go port to port / Every time I come I produce a quart” — Prestige Worldwide, “Boats ‘n’ Hos”
  • “Don’t lose your dinosaur.” — Robert Doback
Step Brothers Quotes
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  • “Dad, what are you going? It’s ‘Shark Week’!”
  • “I traveled 500 miles to give you my seed!” — lumberjack Brennan
  • “That’s so funny; the last time I heard that, I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.”

“I feel like a lightning bolt hit the tip of my pe***!” — Brennan

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  • “Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one. Go!” — Dale
  • “You should have never let us make bunk beds! It was a terrible idea! There’s blood everywhere! Dad, Nancy, it’s so bad. There’s blood everywhere. Those bunk beds were a terrible idea. Why’d you let us do that? It’s so bad!”
  • “Robert better not get in my face, ’cause I’ll drop that mother f***er.”
  • “I’m not great at this Hallmark stuff, but Brennan, when I look at you now, I don’t want to kick you in the head quite as much.” — Derek
  • “You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of learned doctors.”

Funny Step Brothers Quotes

Step Brothers is one of the funniest movies around. It has some of the most memorable lines in the history of comedy. Here’s a list with Funny Step Brothers Quotes from that movie.

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  • “Last week I put liquid paper on a bee… And it died.”
  • “You know what gets my d*ck hard? Helping out my friends.” — Derek
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  • “Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fu*k one, marry one, kill one. Go!”
  • “Your drumset is a wh***! I tea bagged your drum set!” — Brennan Huff
  • “You don’t even look good when you’re singing.” — Derek
  • “Dad, I’m doing this because I love you. F*ck you
  • “Did we just become best friends? “Yep!”” — Brennan Huff
Funny Step Brothers Quotes
Funny Step Bro thers Quotes
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  • “This is going to sound weird but, for a second, I think you took on the shape.”
  • “I didn’t want Salmon! I said it four times! This wedding is horse sh**.”
  • “What poem is that from? Is that James Joyce?” — Brennan
  • “One time I wrestled a giraffe to the ground with my bare hands.”
  • “I you wake me up… I will stab you, in the neck with a knife.”
  • “I want to roll you into a little ball and shove you up my vagina.” — Alice

Related- Funny Quotes»


  • “I’m Dale, but you have to call me Dragon.” — Dale Doback
  • “Dad, what are you going? It’s ‘Shark Week’!”
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  • “Boats ‘n’ hoes, boats ‘n’ hoes / I gotta have me my boats and hoes.”
  • “I still hate you, but you have a pretty good collection of nud*e magazines.” — Brennan
  • “That’s so funny; the last time I heard that, I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.”
  • “Today I saw my own son use a bicycle as a weapon. You yelled ‘rape’ at the top of your lungs.” — Nancy
  • “You should have never let us make bunk beds! It was a terrible idea! There’s blood everywhere! Dad, Nancy, it’s so bad. There’s blood everywhere. Those bunk beds were a terrible idea. Why’d you let us do that? It’s so bad!”

Step Brothers One Lines Quotes

Step Brothers movie quotes are some of the best quotes ever. Because these Step Brothers one lines quotes were so awesome.

  • “Shut your mouth. You’re just coming off stupid.”
  • “Dad, what are you doing? It’s ‘Shark Week’!” — Dale
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  • “This cyclone in vanuatu. Is it pan or pam?”
  • “That’s so funny the last time I heard that I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.” — Dale
  • “Snapping necks and cashing cheques.”
  • “One time I wrestled a giraffe to the ground with my bare hands.” — Dale
  •  “Dane Cook, pay–per–view, 20 minutes, let’s go!” — Derek
 Step Brothers Quotes
Step Brothers Quotes
  • “My mom is being eaten by a dog and there’s nothing I can do!” — Brennan
  • “Get your sh*t, we’re going to my room.”
  • Then we’ll get around just fine.
  • “I’ve been called the songbird of my generation.”
  • “I’ve been called the songbird of my generation.”
  • “Last week, I put liquid paper on a bee… and it died.”
  • “Don’t ever, ever touch my drum set. You understand?”
  • “When you fall asleep, I’m gonna punch you square in the face.”
  • “Your drumset is a whore! I tea bagged your drumset!” — Brennan Huff
  • “Gotta have my boats and hoes!” — Dale Doback
  • “You keep your liver-spotted hands off my beautiful mother! She’s a saint!”
  • “One time I wrestled a giraffe to the ground with my bare hands.” — Dale Doback

Long Step Brothers Quotes

Long Step Brothers Quotes is a collection of quotes from the wildly popular American comedy duo of Brian “Whiteboy” McGreevy and Craig “Little Weasel” Armstrong

  • “Dad, we’re men. That means a few things – we like to shit with the door open, we talk about pussy, we go on riverboat gambling trips, and we make our own beef jerky. That’s what we do, and now that is all wrecked.” — Dale Doback
  • That’s so funny, the last time I heard that I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.”
  • Why are you so sweaty?” “I was watching Cops.”
  • “On the count of three, name your favorite dinosaur. Don’t even think about it. Just name it. Ready? One, two, three.”
  • Flat. It’s so flat, I can’t even…I don’t even know. You don’t even look good while you’re singing. The worst thing I’ve ever heard. This is twelve hundred dollars a week for voice lessons, and this is what I get? Okay, I’m gonna save it with the solo…”
  • “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls, Gardocki!” — Brennan Huff
  • Listen, gang, don’t be mad at Dale for ruining the story…and possibly the evening.”
  • I’m Brennan.” “I’m Dale, but you have to call me Dragon.” “You have to call me Nighthawk.”

Related- I Love My Brother Quotes»


  • Robert better not get in my face…‘cause I’ll drop that motherf**ker!”
  • Brennan, I thought you were incredibly brave. And I mean that in strictly the most clinical and professional sense possible, with no emotional, intimate, sexual, or any other undertones that you could possibly infer.” “God, you’re gonna make me cry. What poem is that from? Is that James Joyce?”
  • “I’m not great at this Hallmark stuff, but Brennan, when I look at you now, I don’t want to kick you in the head quite as much.” — Derek
  • This house is a f**king prison!” “On Planet Bulls**t!” “In the galaxy of This Sucks Camel D**ks!”
  • I’ve been called the songbird of my generation.”
  • “Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one. Go!”
  • You’re embarrassing yourself, you geriatric f**k! Two things: You keep your liver-spotted hands off my beautiful mother. She’s a saint! And then you sit down and you write Dale and Brennan a check for $10,000. Or I’m gonna shove one of those fake hearing devices so far up your a**, you can hear the sound of your small intestine as it produces s**t!”
  • “Maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.” 
  • “I work at a college as a janitor even though I feel like I’m smarter than most of the people who go there. Sometimes, I see an equation written on a blackboard like half an equation and… I just figure it out.”
  • You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of learned doctors.” “You’re not a doctor. You’re a big, fat, curly-headed f**k!”
  • “Did we just become best friends?” — Brennan Huff

Final Words

I hope you enjoy this collection of the most funniest quotes from this comedy film “Step Brothers”.

The best part about that movie is how it’s just about two complete idiots trying to quit smoking by fooling around. If you haven’t seen this movie yet, I highly recommend it!

Thanks for reading this article and from here you will learn a lot of things, be happy cheers!

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